Day 1.75 of Spring Break Cont'd: Embarkation

We had heard the warnings from previous carnival patrons:

"Embarkation is a long and difficult process. You start to feel like your at Six Flags with all the lines. Just be ready."

So for those of you still following at home, we did what any other dude faced with such a daunting task would have done--we got liquored up just beforehand.

What followed our alcohol comsumption was an insatiable desire to scream "hey girl" at every passing female between the ages of 14 (give or take) and 36. At the loading dock. In line. In stairwells. Every single one. And there were a lot of families, which meant that you were pissing off alot of dads in the process. Not that any of us cared, but we probably could have toned it down a little.

Lassiter thought it may be better if his compadres devised a plan so as to not tip off the innocent young women or there huge dad in the process of cat calling.

(1) IPODS ON- Everybody must put there Ipods on and do an abridged version of the dirty swivel so it looks like you are only interested in the next line Nate Dogg is about to sing, and not on the young lady who is coming back down the row to your left. Beboping to an Ipod is like talking on your cell phone as you enter a college football game...no security guard is going to be rude enough to break up your conversation just to see if you have a couple of pints of whiskey down your pants. By the same ticket, no dad is going to cold-cock you in the middle of the embarkation line for checking out his daughter...he wouldn't dare interrupt you as you enjoy eminem asking everyone to "shake that ass" for him.

(2) WE MUST GO STEALTH UNTIL WE GET ONTO BOAT- Secondly, the Hey Girl/YG code should probably be implemented, with a few variances. Once this boat ships off, our margin of error goes up considerably. Let us discuss the different levels of girls you hope to scope.

(A) HGWMG -the ideally spotted girl during embarkation. The "HEY GIRL, with more Girls." Because there is safety in numbers, as we all know. Its also a dead give away that they are on a spring break trip and want to party. So far, these sightings had been few and far between.
(B) HGWOD-A lesser desired spotting. The "HEY GIRL, with other dudes." But the team couldnt possibly be that down after catching one of these lovely ladies. Why, you ask? Because those dudes are not as cool as us, and they look like they might just be brothers. You gotta Keep the faith.
(C) HGWF- The least desirable, but certainly not a bad sighting at this point in the trip. The HEY GIRL with Family. We had seen alot of these girls thus far, which certainly didnt bode well for the week.

(END LASSITER DIRECTIONS FOR SUCCESSFUL EMBARKATION)

Still in good spirits despite a multitude of HGWF's, we obtained our sign and sail cards and walked up the ramp towards the hull of our ship. What better time to start a BCRB...but despite our jubilance a shadow of questions still loom.

Could it be just us and a thousand or so families? Is this a trap--did Chandler paln this trip seeking to get us each arrested for statutory rape? Where is the f'ing bathroom? Stay tuned, as all these questions, and a whole lot more, will soon be answered...